Paradise Lost. Runescape Edition.

[sulaiman400]

The Story I am about to tell is completely true. Warning: You may shed a tear. Also, my writing isn't that great so calm down on the criticism. This was for my personal enjoyment, tbh lmao...

It was Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011. Sulaiman400, a young, charismatic, gorgeous young man was sitting in the Grand Exchange. He had just bought some free-to-play pk sets so that he could participate in his clan's pk events. He was in the Descendant Guardians, the junior clan of the esteemed Wilderness Guardians. Although he was not as powerful, as vocal, or as wealthy as many of his fellow soldiers, he fought alongside them to defend the standard of the Guardians and to be the shield of the innocent from the oppressors who roamed the Wilderness. While Sulaiman400 was inside the Grand Exchange, he began a conversation with some of his fellow soldiers in the clan's magical communication network.

His fellow colleagues all spoke of their adventures with their wealthy consumer products, like the feared dragon claws or the armadyl godsword. He was deeply jealous of their strength and of their shocking wealth. But, he had no way of making the money necessary to buy such products. He had just around 3 million gold pieces (which was equivalent to three pieces of poop and two vomited dead pigs in the real world). So, he decided to run away from the commerce capital of Geilnor to a peaceful gnome-filled area, the Grand Tree. He walked up to the Grand Tree transportation system when he saw hundreds of men standing around with loads of cash, talking about "dicing" and risking cash.

He walked up to a very famous character, dragon dyce. He was wearing the extremely rare white party hat along with a full third age set and an armadyl godsword. Sulaiman400 asked, "How, oh How did you get so rich, Mr. Dyce?"

Mr. Dyce responded with a laugh. "It's easy, young child. Just try dicing."

"What's dicing?"

"What's dicing? I've never heard such a preposterous question. Do you really not know what dicing is?"

"Yea, what is it?"

"Well, it's simple. You wager cash to see who can roll a dice better. You take two dices and roll them. If you roll higher than your opponent, you win and gain the wagered cash. Simple, really. Here, take my dice and try it out. All of these men here work for my company!" He handed Sulaiman400 the dice. Little did Sulaiman400 know, he was entering a trap. A trap that would soon consume and destroy him. Sulaiman400 quickly ran back to the grand exchange and withdrew two million gold pieces. He ran up to the Grand Tree. There were long lines and large crowds of people around the hosts. All of the hosts were extremely wealthy, probably because of their profit from the high commissions gained by Dragon Dyce's company.

Nonetheless, Sulaiman400 patiently waited and eventually got a chance to try it out. He gambled all of his gold pieces and faced off against several other experienced dicers. Shockingly, he won. Over the next two hours, Sulaiman400 went on a unprecedented winning streak, winning match after match after match. He eventually amassed 30 million gold pieces and he finally had enough money to feel rich enough for his clan. Nonetheless, he began forming a blood thirst for money. So, he continued dicing nonetheless. He was challenged to a large gamble, 12 million gold pieces in a three-way competition. He lost. And so began a losing streak that evaporated Sulaiman400's savings as quickly as they came. Soon enough, he had fallen down to less than 3 million gold pieces, less than he had when he began dicing.

The Wilderness Guardians' warlord, or "Raid Leader," Joey then called Sulaiman and all of his fellow soldiers and guardians to battle. They had to defend their friends, Collision, from forces so corrupt and disgusting that it would make any normal being die out of disgust. So, he was relieved from his losing streak. Sulaiman left for several hours to fight along his countrymen and his guardians fought valiantly. So, Sulaiman came back several hours later, exhausted from battle. He returned to the Grand Exchange. He felt that after a good day of fighting with his soldiers, he could gamble his way back to prominence. Because, at the end of the day, his quest for cash was not all about cash. Much of it was pride. He wanted to make sure that he was wealthier than his cousin (a level 71 pre-teen with 4.5 million gold pieces). Much of it was jealousy, directed mainly at those men who threw around money as if it was nothing in the Northeast corridor of the grand exchange. But, more than anything, it was need. Sulaiman wanted to relieve himself of the worries that lack of money brought. He did not want to work much longer to attempt to make money for himself and for his colleagues.

And for all of these reasons, he went back to dicing. He started off on a strong foot, raising his total cash pile up to 7.5 million gold pieces. But, before long, he began losing again. And oh boy, did he lose. He lost all of his cash. Angered, but filled with much hubris, he decided to bravely sell off all of his possessions. He sold off everything except for the equipment he would need to war with his fellow guardians. So, he went back to dicing. And he lost it all again. But, this time, not all of it was from dicing. He was also scammed by people whose names looked nearly identical to those who hosted in Dragon Dyce's massive organization. Frustrated, Sulaiman400 looked at his bank. He realized that his pride had cost him everything. He lost all of his tools, weapons, and objects that were not used to help his clan. He had lost everything. Angered, he thought of an idea. He would attempt to scam others to try to regain his lost wealth. His lost paradise. So, he attempted identify theft. He changed his name to try to look identical to one of the hosts in the large dicing ponzi scheme. It didn't work. Instead, he was berated and laughed at. He stooped lower and lower. He then used the Gnome Tree transportation system to leave the great merchant city of Varrock and escape to the more serene Grand Tree to lie and despair over the loss of all of his personal equity.

Comment on scamming: Honestly, after feeling as desperate as I did when I realized I literally lost everything, I began to see why people scam. It is a way to make money, not dissimilar from pking, dicing, skilling, luring, dueling, monster hunting, etc. In many ways, it gives a life lesson. Remember to read the fine print and try to use your head in any negotiations or fights. Not just in Runescape but especially in real life. Also, on another completely unrelated note, I actually probably have a serious irl gambling issue. Because of my ridiculous overconfidence and massive amount of hubris, I don't think I could ever accept a loss or a point at when to stop. So, I probably would never gamble irl lol

So, yea, I lost everything. Indeed, all I have left are 5 f2p and 5 p2p pking sets (he had 10 of each, but he went nuts lmao). Umm, I also have some weird new name from my failed attempt at scamming innocent bystanders.


YES, I KNOW THIS HAPPENS TO ALL OF US, BUT I WROTE THIS FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES. IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE TO SAY, MOVE THE FUCK ON!!!

[Kung_Man149]

What the Hell?

EDIT: ....Uhhh....Gambling's bad...Mk?

[Taibz]

Say something nice Taibz..

Uhh.. gratz?

[sulaiman400]

lol at the responses

[BeeBee]

I was expecting a RSMV of Hollywood Undead - Paradise Lost..... if im honest

[Raging Mage2]

Atleast you learned and it was only a few mill

[sulaiman400]

Atleast you learned and it was only a few mill

A couple of mill, plus 5 f2p sets, 5 p2p sets, ammy of fury, whip, dragon boots, dragon legs.... Which still isn't that much for most people, but that is literally my entire bank lmao...

[slime666]

Now that you changed your name you might as well keep trying to scam people in that place.

[Seb]

dicing isnt a scam, its a new way for the rich to become even richer, check out win all day on youtube, a host can start off with like 500m, and after a couple of day have about 2b.

[sulaiman400]

dicing isnt a scam, its a new way for the rich to become even richer, check out win all day on youtube, a host can start off with like 500m, and after a couple of day have about 2b.

It's not... I wish I was a dicing host lmao... That 10% commission would be incredible.

[Vephy]

Lol, glad you learned your lesson I guess.  Money can be made easy with a good plan even with little time on your hands.  You just have to follow through on it and have patience.  Most of my rs time was after free trade was eliminated so maybe I don't feel the get money quick bug so much. 

Anyway,
Cool story bro.

~A Vephysauras

PS:  Rawr.

[Vio]

So, he attempted identify theft. He changed his name to try to look identical to one of the hosts in the large dicing ponzi scheme.

Stokenuf bought full 3rd age with the money he scammed off people by impersonating Steve... in one day.
I am SORELY tempted to try it myself.
I'm the same combat level as xMarlene, so it would seem even more legit.

[Vephy]

So, he attempted identify theft. He changed his name to try to look identical to one of the hosts in the large dicing ponzi scheme.

Stokenuf bought full 3rd age with the money he scammed off people by impersonating Steve... in one day.
I am SORELY tempted to try it myself.
I'm the same combat level as xMarlene, so it would seem even more legit.

Not everyone's morale values translate into pixels I guess lol.

[sulaiman400]

So, he attempted identify theft. He changed his name to try to look identical to one of the hosts in the large dicing ponzi scheme.

Stokenuf bought full 3rd age with the money he scammed off people by impersonating Steve... in one day.
I am SORELY tempted to try it myself.
I'm the same combat level as xMarlene, so it would seem even more legit.

Not everyone's morale values translate into pixels I guess lol.

In real life, if an average person would be given a chance to win 1 million dollars but you would have to skirt the rules (and you wouldn't get caught), that average person would probably take the deal (probably 75% of the people in the world would say yes)

[Raging Mage2]

So, he attempted identify theft. He changed his name to try to look identical to one of the hosts in the large dicing ponzi scheme.

Stokenuf bought full 3rd age with the money he scammed off people by impersonating Steve... in one day.
I am SORELY tempted to try it myself.
I'm the same combat level as xMarlene, so it would seem even more legit.

Not everyone's morale values translate into pixels I guess lol.

In real life, if an average person would be given a chance to win 1 million dollars but you would have to skirt the rules (and you wouldn't get caught), that average person would probably take the deal (probably 75% of the people in the world would say yes)

You just made that up

[James]

So, he attempted identify theft. He changed his name to try to look identical to one of the hosts in the large dicing ponzi scheme.

Stokenuf bought full 3rd age with the money he scammed off people by impersonating Steve... in one day.
I am SORELY tempted to try it myself.
I'm the same combat level as xMarlene, so it would seem even more legit.

Not everyone's morale values translate into pixels I guess lol.

In real life, if an average person would be given a chance to win 1 million dollars but you would have to skirt the rules (and you wouldn't get caught), that average person would probably take the deal (probably 75% of the people in the world would say yes)

You just made that up

78% of percentages are made up on the spot