This is a beautiful topic, I'm glad someone talks about it, I had a similar one regarding mental health last year. I've had lots of struggles myself, have had a childhood friend commit suicide and a few years ago I lost a cousin, I also saved a family member, who is really important in my life, from doing it. Stuff like that (and also thinking about my family) is what keeps me from doing something, I can understand that it's even harder now (specially during the pandemic) to maintain your mental health, it has fucked up all of the progress that I made towards getting better. Needless to say, I'll always have my pms on in case anyone needs someone to share their thoughts, but please always keep in mind, suicide is not the answer.