Best Jokes Thread

[Huskington]

***WARNING YOU MAY BE OFFENDED***

***PROCEED WITH CAUTION***

Not everyone's humor is the same

Adult jokes are fine, however being blatantly racist/sexist/homophobic/etc is not funny and you will be met with a swift boot to the ass

 

I'll start

 

POSSIBLY OFFENSIVE JOKE WARNING What do an orgasm and a pulse have in common?

Spoiler

I don't care if she has either

 

MILDER SAFE SPACE JOKE What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Spoiler

Dam.

 

[GurtJun]

 OFFENSE WARNING

Spoiler

Daughter: What is an abortion?

Mom: Ask your sister.

Daughter: But I dont have a sister...

 

@HuskingtonLMK if this is too dark/not allowed lol

[GurtJun]

edit: sorry, not a joke. but still funny 

Edited March 20, 2019 by GurtJun

[GurtJun]

slight warning

Spoiler

Dad: honey, you killed a butterfly today, no butter for a month
Daugther: I also killed a cockroach today...
Dad: Nice try

[GurtJun]

slight warning

Spoiler

Me: * fucks co-worker *

Everyone else in the family business: Excuse me, what the fuck

 

[batfire]

Everyone with less than 2k total l0000l

[DontPkPls]

lmfao

[Willzy]

Something about the holocaust. Oops sorry thought my name was iown

[MitsBerry]

I'm not clued up on BBCode these days, so if you, by chance, are under the age of 16 or have a sensitive disposition with regards to 9/11, I advise you to skip this post. 

 

A father and son, on a trip through their local nature preserve, notice a couple engaged in sexual intercourse, through the tree line. The son, perplexed, questions his father on those people were doing. Quickly, he responds, "Ah, you see, they're baking cakes." The child nods and the two carry on down the trail. Some time later, the boy spots another couple having sex in the forest. He announces to his father, "Look Dad! They're baking cakes too!". The father nods and replies with a curt, "Mhm". They then begin to head home.

 

The next morning, the boy says his to his parents at the dinner table, that his parents were baking cakes last night in their room. His mother stares questioningly, the father panics and asks, "How did you know?"

 

"I ate the icing on the pillows, Dad."

 

Bonus joke:

 

The best readers were at twin towers on 9/11. They went through 104 stories in seconds. Incredible.

Edited March 21, 2019 by MitsBerry
qt

[GurtJun]

40 minutes ago, MitsBerry said:

The best readers were at twin towers on 9/11. They went through 104 stories in seconds. Incredible. 

This might go a bit too far

 

[4474]

4 hours ago, GurtJun said:

This might go a bit too far

 

Not at all. We should promote literacy. 

[WG Fargorn]

Mask Tanking

[Ghaleren]

@ Jagex's ability to maintain a consistently stable game/services.

[Aedster12]

here's a fun one no warning

 

Did you hear about the guy, who lost the left half of his body?

 

 

 

He's all right now.  

[Pen Fifteen]

Me: Wow that was the best ice-cold milk I've ever tasted

 

Everyone else at the sperm bank: ...

[i0wn0nu]

Im saying nothing

 

 

~~Stoor Worm

[Ardy Nites]

On 3/21/2019 at 9:53 AM, GurtJun said:

This might go a bit too far

 

9/11 is one of this century's great sources of jokes, people are too soft

[GurtJun]

2 hours ago, Ardy Nites said:

9/11 is one of this century's great sources of jokes, people are too soft

i mean, dark humor is my humor. i just dont want to cross any lines here XD

[i0wn0nu]

dont get banned boys  

 

 

 

~~Stoor Worm