The Wilderness Guardians

The Wilderness Guardians (IPB1 Forums Archive)

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You are currently viewing an archive of the Wilderness Guardians clan's IPB1 forums. These forums were used by WG from 2008 to 2011, and now exist for historical and achival purposes only. For the clan's current forums, CLICK HERE.	"You are a Wilderness Guardian. That northern wasteland; that land of blood, desolation and death is your dominion. Tonight we are going home." ~His Lordship
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Fuck yeah

Kyle

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:45 pm

IRC Nickname: Darth
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 4601
Member No.: 838
Joined: June 12, 2008
Total Events Attended: 558

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to **** her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm ****ing her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says harder. V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home

This is her and me
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Indivi2you

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:45 pm

IRC Nickname: Indivi2you
Group: Elite Guardian
Posts: 5361
Member No.: 43
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 623

My story is better.

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The First, The Last, and the Only ~FLO
Never say never, because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. ~Michael Jordan
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The_Z_Blade3

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:45 pm

IRC Nickname: Mark|Zblade3
Group: Guest
Posts: 164
Member No.: 1687
Joined: February 4, 2009
Total Events Attended: 15

L.

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Boogers102

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:46 pm

IRC Nickname:
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 505
Member No.: 20
Joined: December 29, 2007
Total Events Attended: 27

Yas. I lol'd

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God Reports

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:46 pm

IRC Nickname: DyIan
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 1205
Member No.: 1638
Joined: January 15, 2009
Total Events Attended: 107

This is a 2 minuted waste of my life. Now I will waste 2 minutes of yours. FGT

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Quikdrawjoe

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:46 pm

IRC Nickname:
Group: Elite Guardian
Posts: 7306
Member No.: 47
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 343

post count

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July 5, 2007 - June 27, 2011

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:46 pm

IRC Nickname: [JC]
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 3320
Member No.: 23
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 147

Cool story bro

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Old awards wat
Most Mature & Most Honourable
Most Dedicated|IRC Freak|Best Emeritus
Placeholder lolz

Wolf Rider43

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:47 pm

IRC Nickname: iWolf
Group: Guest
Posts: 241
Member No.: 1226
Joined: July 21, 2008
Total Events Attended: 0

o.

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For Sooth

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:48 pm

IRC Nickname: Hyperion
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 1636
Member No.: 978
Joined: June 23, 2008
Total Events Attended: 141

QUOTE	Quikdrawjoe @ October 24, 2009 04:46 pm)

post count

coutned as a post.

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Dragon boots:29 Whips:2

Noobcountry

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:51 pm

IRC Nickname: Erti
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 600
Member No.: 1698
Joined: February 8, 2009
Total Events Attended: 58

Post count

.

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Determination is what keeps me pumping.

Planolocal

Posted: October 24, 2009 09:52 pm

IRC Nickname: Plano|Adam
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 1449
Member No.: 228
Joined: February 13, 2008
Total Events Attended: 107

u r not.

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"If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0"

Colinwarrior

Posted: October 24, 2009 10:05 pm

IRC Nickname: Colin
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 2039
Member No.: 68
Joined: December 31, 2007
Total Events Attended: 69

That's nothing compared to my day.

I woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women woke me by sucking my cock, which by the way is 17 and a half inches. I didn't need to shower, because my body self cleanses and my pores emit the manliest cologne possible.

I got in my 2009 Lamborghini Murcielago and another one of my bitches was waiting in the passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without me having penetrated her. She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and drove with my knees. In three seconds, I arrived at the gym, which was fifty miles away. I threw the bitch off me, and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back. When I got out the car, I flexed. My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my shirt off, and six women lined up. We had an orgy, which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of euphoria after I put it in. I came, and three hundred gallons of semen shot out. It landed in Ghana, and ended the drought.

I hovered into the gym, because the ground was too scared of my calf muscles to touch my feet. After benching seven thousand tons, I squatted four million kilograms. I started doing my four hundred laps around California, but I got a phone call. It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels. They orgasmed after hearing my voice. My bitch in the car was getting lonely, so I went back. She sucked me off as I took the three second drive back home. I left her in the car and went inside.

Pic related, it's me and my boys.
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Proud WG member from January 2006 - Fall 2009

Dorcha3377

Posted: October 24, 2009 11:05 pm

IRC Nickname: Jenny
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 1967
Member No.: 19
Joined: December 29, 2007
Total Events Attended: 56

As disgusting as both of these stories were I laughed so much.

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Groedius

Posted: October 24, 2009 11:17 pm

IRC Nickname: Groedius
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 1556
Member No.: 99
Joined: January 3, 2008
Total Events Attended: 256

QUOTE	Theevildead2 @ October 24, 2009 09:46 pm)

Cool story bro

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Zemus3654

Posted: October 25, 2009 01:03 am

IRC Nickname: Zemus
Group: Elite Guardian
Posts: 2786
Member No.: 128
Joined: January 12, 2008
Total Events Attended: 275

wat

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24th to 2496 Overall ~ 29th to 120 Dungeoneering

~ Guardian since November 2007 ~

- I now play WoW lols -

Server: US Jubei'Thos Faction: Horde
85 Blood-Elf Paladin
85 Troll Hunter

Mistah Vince

Posted: October 25, 2009 02:11 am

IRC Nickname: Mistah_Vince
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 2235
Member No.: 233
Joined: February 14, 2008
Total Events Attended: 85

I honestly take offense to this.

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Kyle

Posted: October 25, 2009 02:27 am

IRC Nickname: Darth
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 4601
Member No.: 838
Joined: June 12, 2008
Total Events Attended: 558

QUOTE	SLaXeH @ October 24, 2009 09:11 pm)

I honestly take offense to this.

All Guidos may be Italian, but not all Italians are Guidos.

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Stokenut

Posted: October 25, 2009 02:30 am

IRC Nickname: Stokenut
Group: Guest
Posts: 2062
Member No.: 805
Joined: June 10, 2008
Total Events Attended: 112

To world,

Love 4chan.

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Over 6 years of history and friendship, deleted over a difference in an opinion.

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Challenge any creationist to a debate.
They'll run away and aggressively accuse you of "attacking" them and their "beliefs".
I'm sorry, please, keep teaching our kids that they'll burn in hell if they don't believe. Mutilate their genitals against their will while you're at it. Keep influencing politics and holding back vital scientific research.
I'll just keep my mouth shut to "respect" your "beliefs".

Colinwarrior

Posted: October 25, 2009 02:48 am

IRC Nickname: Colin
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 2039
Member No.: 68
Joined: December 31, 2007
Total Events Attended: 69

QUOTE	Stokenut @ October 25, 2009 02:30 am)

To world,

Love 4chan.

OMG RULES 1 AND 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

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Proud WG member from January 2006 - Fall 2009

Quikdrawjoe

Posted: October 25, 2009 03:26 am

IRC Nickname:
Group: Elite Guardian
Posts: 7306
Member No.: 47
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 343

what

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July 5, 2007 - June 27, 2011

God Reports

Posted: October 25, 2009 04:26 am

IRC Nickname: DyIan
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 1205
Member No.: 1638
Joined: January 15, 2009
Total Events Attended: 107

Those people in the 2nd story looks like lobster tomatoes

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Nick

Posted: October 25, 2009 04:49 am

IRC Nickname: Lefty
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 3340
Member No.: 1055
Joined: June 30, 2008
Total Events Attended: 211

Lol at both stories.

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Jayson

Posted: October 25, 2009 09:21 am

IRC Nickname: megajayson
Group: Elite Guardian
Posts: 9246
Member No.: 423
Joined: April 4, 2008
Total Events Attended: 216

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This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

7th Highest Overall for Wars Attended.

Renegade3540

Posted: October 25, 2009 11:16 am

IRC Nickname: {Rene}
Group: Guest
Posts: 838
Member No.: 267
Joined: February 25, 2008
Total Events Attended: 55

Couch Car, FUCK YEAH.

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Onathe

Posted: October 25, 2009 12:17 pm

IRC Nickname: `Nath
Group: Guest
Posts: 1897
Member No.: 1873
Joined: May 11, 2009
Total Events Attended: 70

o

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