The Wilderness Guardians

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Is The Force Strong In You?

Sativas

Posted: September 22, 2008 03:34 am

IRC Nickname: Sativas
Group: Elite Guardian
Posts: 2255
Member No.: 1305
Joined: August 29, 2008
Total Events Attended: 155

Friend wrote this funny ass post that only made like 3 pages on di forums, but is funny as shit so I decided to re post here for shits and giggles... Enjoy.

By Alan`
(original post http://www.di-rs.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=62765)

QUOTE

Alright, I'm sure you're all familiar with Star Wars, if you aren't, you should just wrap your face with saran wrap and smother yourself.

I've recently grown bored with working, paying taxes, putting up with people, sharing and what have you. I've been playing Star Wars: KotoR and I'm going to become a Sith Lord. In accordance of the Rule of Two, I can do it. As there is currently not another Sith Lord ruling, I may be eligible to claim the title of Sith Lord.

In order to become one, I'd have to prove myself by killing a Jedi. As I said before, there aren't any Sith Lords currently all but extinct. However, there like infinite amounts of pricks walking around claiming to be Jedi preaching this and that about peace and the way of the Jedi.

Okay Alan, so you want to be a Sith Lord, why do I give a shit you retard?

I'm going to buy 2 lightsabers from Amazon.com, apparently they have a lot. I'm not getting some pussy one either, I'm getting the most expensive ones they have. Not that shit that 8 year-olds run around with playing Luke Dickless and Han Vagina, I'm talking about full metal hilts, steel coated blade lightsaber. It's not exactly sharp but you could easy beat someone to death with it. These are the weapons we will fight to death with.

Fight to the death?

That's right. Once you have filled out the application to duel me, I will pick one that I sense is worthy of being my adversary. I'll pm you, informing you of the great honor and you'll message me the following information:

Country:
State/Province:
City:
Address:
Area Code:
ZIP Code:
Telephone Number:

The telephone number is in case I get lost on the way and need directions. Everything is standard, as we'll have to meet to duel.

[center]Jedi Application[/center]

Name:
Jedi Name:
Age (I don't care how old you are, I'll kill you):
Hilt Style (small, single, double, curved):
Blade Color:
Insurance Company (in case we get arrested and you don't die, you're just beat up real bad):
Any previous history as a Jedi (not required, but preferred):
Extra (any side notes I should know about you):

It starts with you and ends with the Galaxy. After I kill you (I'm pretty sure that I will) I will destroy this world and all those who don't swear their alliance to me (hopefully a scientist or two will join because I'll need them to make a spaceship capable of reaching light speed or some way of traveling through Hyper Space) and then begin my conquest to conquer any existing planets and enslave the alien races or have them join my army of Sith.

Alan, I don't want to die.

Don't be such a pussy, you might win. And even if you don't, it's not exactly like you died for nothing. You gave me the power I'd need to become a true master of the Dark Side. You'd be a part of history. When someone thousands of years from now goes "hey, what was that guys name who died to Darth Meier?" the other person's response will be your name! You could be that guy!

Technicalities: I know, a real Jedi/Sith would make their own lightsaber, as is the tradition of the Jedi and Sith. Also, I know to comply with The Rule of Two, I'd need apprentice who I will bestow all of my knowledge and who will eventually cut me down and take my place as Sith Lord and find his or her's own apprentice to pass on the knowledge of th Dark Side, so and so fourth, continually strengthening The Sith until one day the Force is truly mastered or whatever happens.

To the future followers of the Sith (once I become a Dark Lord), the spaceship will have cup holders, it wont be poorly designed like that faggot-factory, Millennium Falcon.

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The Ultimate Skilling and Combat Badges Updated June 17th, 2011

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T Dwag

Posted: September 22, 2008 03:38 am

IRC Nickname: Tttkaab|Brandon
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 622
Member No.: 123
Joined: January 12, 2008
Total Events Attended: 53

Epic topic tbh lol.

Brandon

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Ex-Wilderness Leader of WG.

I'll always be here for the people that need me.

RS Accounts: Sadcon1, Tttkaab & T Dwag

Havochaha

Posted: September 22, 2008 04:32 am

IRC Nickname: Havochaha
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 2257
Member No.: 106
Joined: January 5, 2008
Total Events Attended: 113

cannot believe i just read all that

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Havochaha Perm Banned Oct 1st 2009
Havochaha Unbanned February 13th 2011
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http://www.erepublik.com/en/referrer/Omar+Dandan
How to Make 10m an Hour

Sithofwookie

Posted: September 22, 2008 04:38 am

IRC Nickname: Sithofwookie
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 2842
Member No.: 815
Joined: June 11, 2008
Total Events Attended: 48

it made me lol irl

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Kero2

Posted: September 22, 2008 04:49 am

IRC Nickname: Kero2|bryan
Group: Guest
Posts: 1302
Member No.: 91
Joined: January 2, 2008
Total Events Attended: 26

So when do tryouts begin ?

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Best pure f2p Guardian
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Post here
http://www.wildernessguardians.com/forum/i...owtopic=20&st=0

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Sativas

Posted: September 22, 2008 04:56 am

IRC Nickname: Sativas
Group: Elite Guardian
Posts: 2255
Member No.: 1305
Joined: August 29, 2008
Total Events Attended: 155

QUOTE (Kero2 @ September 21, 2008 09:49 pm)

So when do tryouts begin ?

sadly the guy who wrote this quit playing rs/posting stuff.

So never

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The Ultimate Skilling and Combat Badges Updated June 17th, 2011

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Geoff_Bland

Posted: September 22, 2008 06:46 am

IRC Nickname: Geofff
Group: Clan Friend
Posts: 1238
Member No.: 608
Joined: May 12, 2008
Total Events Attended: 96

Funniest thing so far today

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Mickey

Posted: September 22, 2008 08:12 am

IRC Nickname: Mickey
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 5305
Member No.: 48
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 282

Lol.

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Mistah Vince

Posted: September 22, 2008 10:41 am

IRC Nickname: Mistah_Vince
Group: Ex-Member
Posts: 2235
Member No.: 233
Joined: February 14, 2008
Total Events Attended: 85

Hell yeah the force is strong in me.

I'm all "PEW PEW, BSST, SLASH. OMIGOD I PWN UR FASE."

Tbh, this topic sparked my interests because I was no-lifing playing the new Star Wars game this weekend. Shit was sick.

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Eregion2

Posted: September 22, 2008 11:42 am

IRC Nickname: Wayne|Eregion2
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 3087
Member No.: 156
Joined: January 25, 2008
Total Events Attended: 8

Lol! Nice.

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Sativas

Posted: September 22, 2008 01:16 pm

IRC Nickname: Sativas
Group: Elite Guardian
Posts: 2255
Member No.: 1305
Joined: August 29, 2008
Total Events Attended: 155

QUOTE (Pbplayer9 @ September 22, 2008 03:41 am)

Ya I heard you talking about it, that swhat made me remember the topic lol.

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The Ultimate Skilling and Combat Badges Updated June 17th, 2011

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Yingyang06

Posted: September 22, 2008 06:39 pm

IRC Nickname: Yingy
Group: Clan Friend
Posts: 2205
Member No.: 27
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 21

Oh my lord lmfao!

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Friend's Forver
The Long Road Ahead - 91/99 Prayer

Mickey

Posted: September 22, 2008 07:14 pm

IRC Nickname: Mickey
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 5305
Member No.: 48
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 282

Uhh I like totally had beans so yeh

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Ragingwealth

Posted: September 22, 2008 09:03 pm

IRC Nickname: Rage|Mike
Group: Clan Friend
Posts: 1948
Member No.: 1238
Joined: July 29, 2008
Total Events Attended: 132

Lmao

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MSN: [email protected]
IRC: Rage|Mike at SwiftIRC and SeersIRC
Drop me a comment, click to view my RSC profile!

Proud to be ex-Wilderness Guardian.
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Twizlers300

Posted: September 22, 2008 09:54 pm

IRC Nickname:
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 318
Member No.: 21
Joined: December 29, 2007
Total Events Attended: 1

Luke Dickless and Han Vagina LOL

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*Proud* Former leader of the Wilderness Guardians
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^Not Reticked's idea, mine tbh (FOR REAL NO JOKE OMG)^

Pazenon

Posted: September 22, 2008 10:13 pm

IRC Nickname: Pazenon
Group: Emeritus
Posts: 1477
Member No.: 33
Joined: December 30, 2007
Total Events Attended: 79

I lol'd

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