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Posted: November 16, 2008 08:54 pm  | |||
      IRC Nickname: Hyperion Group: Ex-Member Posts: 1636 Member No.: 978 Joined: June 23, 2008 Total Events Attended: 141    | Is Your Son a Computer Hacker? <+Vince|Pb9> Too long, sorry Sooth.  IT's really funny, and doesn't take that long to read. Just read it. Author: T Reginald Gibbons Topic: Internet Idiocy As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA. Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children's education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!" As you can imagine, I was amazed. A computer hacker in my own house! I began to monitor my son's habits, to make certain that Cindy wasn't just telling stories, as she is prone to doing at times. After a few days of investigation, and some research into computer hacking, I confronted Peter with the evidence. I'm afraid to say, this was the only time I have ever been truly disappointed in one of my children. We raised them to be honest and to have integrity, and Peter betrayed the principles we tried to encourage in him, when he refused point blank to admit to his activities. His denials continued for hours, and in the end, I was left with no choice but to ban him from using the computer until he is old enough to be responsible for his actions. After going through this ordeal with my own family, I was left pondering how I could best help others in similar situations. I'd gained a lot of knowledge over those few days regarding hackers. It's only right that I provide that information to other parents, in the hope that they will be able to tell if their children are being drawn into the world of hacking. Perhaps other parents will be able to steer their sons back onto the straight and narrow before extreme measures need to be employed. To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker. I advise any parents to read this list carefully and if their son matches the profile, they should take action. A smart parent will first try to reason with their son, before resorting to groundings, or even spanking. I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary. 1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs? Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider. I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites. 2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing? Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding. 3. Has your child asked for new hardware? Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer. If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well. 4. Does your child read hacking manuals? If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds. There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond. [PERSONAL EDIT IN HERE] - [I was forced to read Microserfs in Grade 11 english. It was actaully very good. Guess i'm a hacker....] If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure. 5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day? If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day. 6. Does your son use Quake? Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school. If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school. 7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour? As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature. Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself. 8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"? BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone. Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional. If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface. 9. Has your son radically changed his appearance? If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences. 10. Is your son struggling academically? If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically. I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. Your child's future may depend upon it. Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity, that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart. It cannot be taken too seriously. --------------------    Dragon boots:29 Whips:2 | ||
Posted: November 16, 2008 08:56 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Sithofwookie Group: Ex-Member Posts: 2842 Member No.: 815 Joined: June 11, 2008 Total Events Attended: 48 | lol I read this along time ago I think. --------------------  | ||
Posted: November 16, 2008 09:20 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Wayne|Eregion2 Group: Emeritus Posts: 3087 Member No.: 156 Joined: January 25, 2008 Total Events Attended: 8 |
That's one of the best sci-fi stories ever written IMO. I desperately hope this guy was aiming for satire, which I think is the case, but either way it's pretty funny.  --------------------  | ||
Posted: November 16, 2008 10:16 pm | |||
| IRC Nickname: {Rene} Group: Guest Posts: 838 Member No.: 267 Joined: February 25, 2008 Total Events Attended: 55 | I appear to be showing symptomes of being a Hacker =(. --------------------  | ||
Posted: November 16, 2008 10:36 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Pyro Blade26 Group: Ex-Member Posts: 782 Member No.: 84 Joined: January 1, 2008 Total Events Attended: 64 | Lmfao. the 45 minutes a day thing, and the changing clothing style were the big jokes. lol oh and the struggling academically... why cant their kids just be dumb asses? --------------------     | ||
Posted: November 16, 2008 10:44 pm | |||
| IRC Nickname: Group: Guests Posts: Member No.: 0 Joined: January 1, 1970 Total Events Attended: 1 | lol, that whole thing is a Joke right? lol Or the guy who wrote it has no idea what he was talking about, lol! -------------------- | ||
Posted: November 16, 2008 11:00 pm | |||
| IRC Nickname: Wayne|Eregion2 Group: Emeritus Posts: 3087 Member No.: 156 Joined: January 25, 2008 Total Events Attended: 8 | This definitely has to be satire. His other articles are pretty entertaining as well.  Adequacy User T Reginald Gibbons. -------------------- | ||
Posted: November 16, 2008 11:13 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Mike|Sonix Group: Ex-Member Posts: 1483 Member No.: 13 Joined: December 29, 2007 Total Events Attended: 103 | Wow. Someone please tell this man to learn what he is talking about before attempting to make an intelligent article. I read the 10 major points, but I didn't read the things under most of them. The Quake one was really funny though, as well as Lunix. Good read. --------------------   | ||
Posted: November 16, 2008 11:44 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Lefty Group: Emeritus Posts: 3340 Member No.: 1055 Joined: June 30, 2008 Total Events Attended: 211 | I break the law of 6 of the 10 points. My grades have never really had a problem, I have not read hacker material, unless a biography on Lenin counts, I don't know what Lunix is and why would I change my appearance? Hopefully this was a joke, especially with the Quake, the appearance, and the 45 minutes per day. If it wasn't then this guy needs to explore modern day life. Would bookstores really stop selling a book because the community does not like it? --------------------      | ||
Posted: November 17, 2008 12:24 am | |||
| IRC Nickname: Hyperion Group: Ex-Member Posts: 1636 Member No.: 978 Joined: June 23, 2008 Total Events Attended: 141 | He spelt Linux Lunix, i had no idea what he was talking about. -------------------- Dragon boots:29 Whips:2 | ||
Posted: November 17, 2008 12:41 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: Samurai-JM Group: Emeritus Posts: 3204 Member No.: 117 Joined: January 11, 2008 Total Events Attended: 8 | Oh thank goodness I'm not a hacker! I hardly fit any of these categories! -------------------- -=}¤- Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici -¤{=-  W I N N I N G | ||
Posted: November 17, 2008 01:18 am | |||
| IRC Nickname: Group: Elite Guardian Posts: 7306 Member No.: 47 Joined: December 30, 2007 Total Events Attended: 343 | Snow Crash is actually a really good book. If you learn how to hack from that book though please tell me how you manage that. -------------------- July 5, 2007 - June 27, 2011 | ||
Posted: November 17, 2008 10:50 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Mickey Group: Emeritus Posts: 5305 Member No.: 48 Joined: December 30, 2007 Total Events Attended: 282 | Umm, I used to do it. I managed to hack my school server and get the server administrator password, and so forth gave myself administrator to my school computers That's why you would need to be a master hacker to get into my computer. I have the best anti virus, the best firewall, and a few more special features that will be triggered should someone try to get unauthorised access into my computer. I in fact don't have cheap hardware or a cheap system. The one I'm using is pretty expensive and I'm was afraid to splash out on new tools that would help me do what ever I was doing. But seriously, lol at the guys son turning into a nerd. --------------------    | ||
Posted: November 17, 2008 10:58 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Kiwi011 Group: Emeritus Posts: 3052 Member No.: 40 Joined: December 30, 2007 Total Events Attended: 21 | dam...I'm a hacker..... HOW THE HELL CAN SOMEONE ONLY SPEND 30 MINS A DAY ON THE PC? WTF I NEED LIKE 4 HRS JUST TO DO HW, NOT TO MENTION MESS AROUND LUL. --------------------  | ||
Posted: November 18, 2008 06:09 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: RobbieThe1st Group: Founder Posts: 770 Member No.: 2 Joined: December 26, 2007 Total Events Attended: 49 | This *has* to be satire. I am willing to bet however that most of the things he is talking about were brought up by one computer illiterate parent or another... Personally... 5/10 (1,2,3,5, & 8) -RobbieThe1st -------------------- Old Avatar - Paypal donation link  I am left handed, and proud of it! Retired from RuneScape. Old forum posts: 2275(s4+s10+wg.com)+1759(z6 old account)+474(z6 new account) Total: 4508 Join date: 4/16/05 | Get Firefox 3.5 now: http://www.getfirefox.com | RobbieSwich for Firefox | ||
Posted: November 18, 2008 05:42 pm | |||
| IRC Nickname: Group: Banned Posts: 2447 Member No.: 114 Joined: January 8, 2008 Total Events Attended: 149 | Amusing. EDIT: I refuse to say which apply to me. -------------------- | ||
Posted: November 20, 2008 06:24 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: Matt|Georgio9 Group: Emeritus Posts: 706 Member No.: 94 Joined: January 3, 2008 Total Events Attended: 0 | lol @ AMD and Linux. This HAS to be a farce. Otherwise, I could very well be a hacker. --------------------   | ||
Are You a Computer Hacker?, Or your son in this case...