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"You are a Wilderness Guardian. That northern wasteland; that land of blood, desolation and death is your dominion. Tonight we are going home." ~His Lordship |
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Posted: December 1, 2008 10:13 pm  | |||
      IRC Nickname: Sativas Group: Elite Guardian Posts: 2255 Member No.: 1305 Joined: August 29, 2008 Total Events Attended: 155    | Old as shit, but still funny as hell. bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight? BritneySpears14: Aight. bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah. BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja. bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up. bloodninja: Me too baby. BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest. bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman. BritneySpears14: Hey... bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite. BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it. bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness. BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous. bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands. bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****. bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal. bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him. bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now. bloodninja: Baby? ------------------- bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you. j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u. bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure. j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go. j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck. bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory. j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on. j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts. j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game. bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass. j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious. bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass. bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet. j_gurli3: thats it. bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn. bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now. -------------- BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready? eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready. BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee. eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies. BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you. BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique. eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat. BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again. eminemBNJA: Oh **** BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up. eminemBNJA: Oh **** eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something --------------- Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch. Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay. Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll. Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough. Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty. Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good. Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh. Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm. Sarah19fca: you like that? Bloodninja: I peel some bananas. Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those? Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark. Sarah19fca: Peanuts? Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh. Sarah19fca: What are you talking about? Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats. Sarah19fca: This is stupid. Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer. Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold? Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh. Sarah19fca: /ignore Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway. Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset. --------------- Bloodninja:Wanna cyber? DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-) DirtyKate:Who are you? Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm. DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want? DirtyKate:I want everything, baby! Bloodninja:Is this a delivery? DirtyKate:Umm...Yes DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. **pause** DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza. Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though **pause** DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now. Bloodninja:How did you know? Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate:What the f**k? DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t DirtyKate:F**k ------------------ Bloodninja: Wanna cyber? MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables? Bloodninja: What like gardening an ****? MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that. Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes. (pause) MommyMelissa: is that it? Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch. Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce? MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me? (pause) Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily. Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains. MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis. Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots. Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this s**t is HOT. MommyMelissa: ... Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love. MommyMelissa: What the f**k is this madlibs? I'm outta here. Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch. MommyMelissa: whatever. ------------------ J-Dogg: You there baby?? Partner2: Yeah I'm here. J-Dogg: You ready? Partner2: Okay. J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt. Partner2: Cowboy boots? J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots. Partner2: okay... J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby. Partner2: Whats that smell? J-Dogg: Rotting toes. Partner2: Ummm... J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat. Partner2: ... J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes... ------------------ J-Dogg: Ok baby, you promise me you will stick around till I'm done?(partner4: Ben Affleck, alone on a saturday night because he is a peice of moldy rat sh*t, is posing as a young girl looking for cyber partners.) Ben:Yeah Mr. Dogg. Anything for you, you are so handsome and studly. J-Dogg: Good, now I'm into some wierd sh*t, so don't be surprised aight? Ben: ok mr. Doggy I promise. J-Dogg: Aight then, we settle down on the couch... Ben: Oh romantic? This isn't wierd, I like it like that baby. What else. J-Dogg: I put in a movie so that your mom can't hear us. It is called "Good Will Hunting". Ben: Aaahhhh.... J-Dogg: I like this movie a lot. Ben: Ok, thats cool. J-Dogg: You start getting frisky so I put my hand down your undies. They have care bears on them. You are my 15 year old niece and we are in my aunts house. Ben: ohhhh I like where this is going... J-Dogg: Suddenly this f*ck with short dark hair comes on the TV screen. I think his name is Ben something. He is a real piece of moldy rat sh*t. I can't keep it up because of him. I need some shark fin soup. Ben: What the f*ck, you are the piece of sh*t, what you got against Ben Affleck, I heard he's real good in the sack, and gets ALL the ladies. J-Dogg: Yeah right, I bet he's at home right now geting it on with some guy. Ben: F*ck you I'm out of here. And Ben Affleck is 100% not gay, I can assure you of that. (Ben logs off and cries himself to sleep) J-Dogg: Goddammit, not again. J-Dogg: Still not hard either. J-Dogg: F*ck. ------------------- Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right? J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie. Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg" J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t. Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun? J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns. Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun? J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby. Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun". J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big. Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do? J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something. Partner6: It likes that. J-Dogg: aight. Partner6: Keep talking to me baby... J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently. Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like. J-Dogg: I unzip my pants... Partner6: Yes, show me what you got. J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts... Partner6: WTF?! J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong! Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women... J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed! Partner6: You dipsh*t. J-Dogg: I whimper to myself... J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr. ------------------- J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet. Partner8: Who the f*ck are you? J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion: J-Dogg: F*ck me, F*ck me. J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever. Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me? J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh. Partner8: Is that like cancer? J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy. Partner8: Good one romeo. J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku. The salmon swim at night. Towards your room. The snow and the moon. Partner8: that was never a haiku. J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness. Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku" J-Dogg: So you ready to f*ck then? Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent. J-Dogg: ... Partner8: ? J-Dogg: I'm spent. ---------------------- Jdogg: Hey QT-Pie: Hey Jdogg: whats goin on QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you? Jdogg: Jdogg. Wanna cyber? QT-Pie: what does that mean? Jdogg: what are you wearing? QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans. Jdogg: Garter belt? QT-Pie: Ummm...no. Jdogg: Are we gonna cyber or not? QT-Pie: uh, okay. Jdogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this. Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your p*ssy stink from here. QT-Pie: WHAT?! Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan. Jdogg: You leave everything to jdogg. Jdogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my d*ck puppet. I put on a little play. QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go. Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back. QT-Pie: A stripe? Jdogg: I need a sandwich. QT-Pie: You're a freak. Jdogg: I was great. You loved it. ---------------------- J-dogg: Hey Kate, I saw you on the hs chatroom J-dogg: Your pretty funny DirtyKate: I don't remember you.. but thanx J-dogg: Wanna cyber? DirtyKate: K, but don't tell anybody DirtyKate: Who are you? J-dogg: I graduated two years ago. I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot. Right now I'm going to Auburn J-dogg: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my new Sebring DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car.. J-dogg: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order DirtyKate: Haha! OK DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce. J-dogg: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?DirtyKate: I want everything, baby! J-dogg: Is this a delivery? DirtyKate: Umm...Yes DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower... J-dogg: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house. DirtyKate: Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up! J-dogg: You can't hurry good pizza. J-dogg: I'm on my way now though DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now. J-dogg: How did you know? J-dogg: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table. J-dogg: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven DirtyKateooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby J-dogg: So you're still in the bathroom? DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself. J-dogg: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door.... DirtyKate: What the f*ck? DirtyKate: You perverted piece of sh*t DirtyKate: F*ck --------------------  The Ultimate Skilling and Combat Badges Updated June 17th, 2011        | ||
Posted: December 1, 2008 10:58 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Trolls trolling trolls trolling trolls Group: Banned Posts: 2956 Member No.: 422 Joined: April 4, 2008 Total Events Attended: 130 | ROFLMFAO IRL -------------------- Mugger84 Member Of WG Since 4th April 2008. WG Raid Leader Since 20th June 2008. WG Council Since 20th November 2008. Banned from WG Since 6th March 2009. DF IG Since 6th March 2009. DF FA Since 15th March 2009. Ex-Member Of WG Since 26th March 2009. Member of DF Since 6th April 2009. Clan Friend of WG Since 4th June 2009. --- ||Ex-WG Warlord || Current Member of DF || Ex-Rampage Leader ||  | ||
Posted: December 2, 2008 02:06 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: Angus0000 Group: Emeritus Posts: 705 Member No.: 572 Joined: May 3, 2008 Total Events Attended: 128 | Why was the same one on there twice? --------------------  | ||
Posted: December 2, 2008 02:16 am | |||
| IRC Nickname: [Randy] Group: Raid Leader Posts: 5065 Member No.: 16 Joined: December 29, 2007 Total Events Attended: 499 |
The man likes pizza --------------------   | ||
Posted: December 2, 2008 04:06 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: His Lordship Group: Founder Posts: 6029 Member No.: 1 Joined: December 26, 2007 Total Events Attended: 129 | LMFAO SO HARD AT THIS. I couldn't stop reading lol. --------------------  | ||
Posted: December 2, 2008 05:17 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: Colin Group: Ex-Member Posts: 2039 Member No.: 68 Joined: December 31, 2007 Total Events Attended: 69 | LOL OMFG...I laughed so hard... This is amazing.. --------------------   Proud WG member from January 2006 - Fall 2009 | ||
Posted: December 8, 2008 01:26 am | |||
 IRC Nickname: Abs Group: Emeritus Posts: 2071 Member No.: 4 Joined: December 26, 2007 Total Events Attended: 97 | LMFAO LOL That was great ~Abs --------------------  "I may not agree with what you say but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Wg Council & Secondary Leader - 21/10/07 to 24/12/08 Msn: [email protected] | ||
Posted: December 18, 2008 01:42 pm | |||
 IRC Nickname: Bam Group: Emeritus Posts: 2762 Member No.: 131 Joined: January 20, 2008 Total Events Attended: 111 | every1 who does cyber should die...that's pathetic. ^^that was funy. --------------------   | ||
Funny Cyber