Corrupt Wishes

I saw this game at another forum, and decided to bring it here as well.

It's called "Corrupt Wishes", and the rules are as following:

The first person makes a wish, then the next person grants the wish but with an unpleasant twist and makes a wish of their own, and so on.

Example:

Person 1: I wish I could fly.

Person 2: Wish granted, but you crash into a plane and die.

So, I'll start with a wish of my own:

I wish I had an iPhone.

Wish granted, although during an important business meeting your porn from last night that you forgot to exit started playing at max volume. The moaning and screaming was extremely loud and your clients were offended. This resulted in no deal and you lost your job. Making no cash, you were forced to sell your home, your car, and eventually your iPhone. Shit I'm good at this.

I wish I had an A in English.

Wish granted, but unfortunately you had to please your English teacher with sexual favors. It wasn't all that bad at first, it's a female and she's moderate looking, but you end up with a series of STD's and are forced out of school to deal with your diseases.

I wish I had a flying donkey.

Wish granted, but that flyin mofo kills half of the world's population, and you are arrested for not reporting it to animal control.

I wish I could fap with my right hand. (True story)

Wish granted, but rather fapping with your right hand only now you can duo it as in your pns grew 10 inches bigger


I wish I had all 99 stats(True story also.)

wish granted. But I hacked you, and dropped your bank.

Wish that the person after me would post a pick of lindsey lohan.

Edit: make that a twist lol. GL.

wish granted...


CROPPED MUG SHOT

I wish that humanity wasn't so stupid, and had some common sense and a feeling of belonging to a society bigger than what they know from TV and magazines, that people could really relate to each other and not wage war on a daily basis because of our differences, but rather embrace those differences and accept each person for the unique human being he/she is. I then wish to rule this perfect world that I have created.

Granted, but aliens from another planet that had blown up and ruined their planet come to yours. Because human kind no longer fights, the aliens conquer and force you from your throne.

I wish I had a poptart.

Granted, but it's riddled with a microscopic mold that slowly eats your intestines, leaving you vomiting blood for hours until you die an agonizing death.

I wish you could sit in on classes you've already passed for free (true story)

c-c-c-combo breaker

c-c-c-combo fixer

@eregion, granted but you have to sit behind the fat girl who farts alot and tries to hit on you.

i wish i was emeritus again so i could troll #wg instead of #wg_lobby

wish granted but your account mysteriously gets deleted so you have to make a new one and continue trolling #wg_lobby.

i wish i had $1,000,000

Granted, but the world ends in a nuclear holocaust and money becomes worthless, the only item of currency now is nuka-cola bottle caps.

Ok Darth has no wishes so I take over.

I wish I was ill tomorrow and avoid a day of isolation + my mum coming in to talk about science...

Tbh these eggs might do that for me.

Oops. Forgot to make a wish. X]

Granted, but it turns out your "illness" was 3 STDs and you will never have sex again.

I wish I could max melee in RS finally.

wish granted, but you break your arm on the serve and its useless for the rest of your life.

i wish i had a pet lion

Granted, but it eats you. Wow that was easy.

I wish the world exploded. Right now. For the lulz.

wish granted but you live and float in space without sex for eternity.

no more wishes =(

Granted, but that means the next poster has to wing it.

oh crap, i'm screwed.

i sure wish i wasn't screwed anymore!

Granted, but the next wish has to do with giraffes.

I wish I had a giraffe.

Your wish is granted. Your giraffe hears giraffes in the air and flies off though while dancing.

I wish to be 6 feet 10 inches tall.

Granted, but you receive 10 concussions within 5 minutes due to whacking your head on door frames and are rendered comatose, with permanent brain damage.

I wish I'd win the lottery off a random ticket on the sidewalk.

Granted, but as you cash it in, the Government takes an unusually high 50% off your profit with capital gains taxes. Then, as you're cashing your money with your bank, your bank gets robbed, and while you are trying to save your huge check, the bank robbers shoot you, but you don't die. Instead, you are a vegetable for the rest of your life with a brain made of mush.

I wish that the human race had the ability of space travel.

Wish granted, but as you are traveling in space you encounter very hostile aliens that hijack your space ship and you are now their slaves.

I wish nothing bad would happen to me.

Too late, you're an alien slave.

I wish I pass calculus I with at least an 80% grade (true story).

Granted, but then a scientist comes along and disproves all of mathematics with a single equation, making all of your hard work for nothing.

I wish everything that is supposed to happen today happens.

Granted, but today never happens.

I wish I had a monster.

Granted, but the monster eats humans and decides that you are inferior and eats you, along with the rest of the human race.

I wish I knew Martial Arts.

Granted, but since your hands are now classified as deadly weapons you are swarmed by cops and accused of beating up old ladies. You are put in jail for 15 life sentences.

I wish I didn't have to work today. QQ

Granted, but your boss, being the asshole he is, calls and tells you to get to work today, making today's work day just like the movie Clerks. Kevin Smith gets wind of this and decides to drop in to see if it really is like the movie Clerks and decides that he's going to sue you for copyright infringement. (I have no idea how I got there, but YEAH!)

I wish the sport of American Football will end.

Wish not granted, screw you, football rocks.

Granted but so many members join that all the other clans have to shut down due to lack of activity and you're all alone. + you have a bunch of n00bs in the clan now.

I wish my big cup of coke from burger king suddenly refilled itself, i'm thirsty ffs.

Granted, but your coke is now in my possession since I refilled it for you.

I wish that Lefty will win in the Council elections.

Granted. Lordy pulls one out of the hat and eliminates the council rank.

I wish i could know if the exams pages with the text "this page has no text printed on it" is immortal

lol no more council, ANARCHY

granted, but THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!! if the words "this page has no text printed on it" are printed on it, then there is text printed on it. the text is lying.

I wish I didn't have to go to my next 2 classes and just went home.

Granted, but since you left to go home, you get kicked out of school and your parents disown you. Unable to get a job, you can't find a place to live, so you're forced to sell all your possessions, but the IRS takes it from you, so you're forced to live under a bridge.

I wish to be immortal.

Wish granted but i filled those pockets with time bombs (1 second)

I wish i wasn't arab

Granted, but you'll fail the class, drop out of school, and be a hobo for the rest of your life.

I wish it would stop raining, rain sucks.

Granted, but it starts hailing.

I wish the recession would end.

Granted, but he decides to make a giant pns for you because you joined DF.

I wish Junior year was over already.

Granted, but you accidentally timewarped to your 89th birthday.

I wish this store takes our marketing recommendations seriously so I feel like we actually accomplished something this semester (marketing class is, overall, an absorbent waste of time).

Granted, but it turns out your recommendations were completely WRONG and you send the entire company into bankruptcy and no one will ever hire you again. Enjoy being a hobo.

I wish my presentation goes well on Friday. I put way too much work into this to fail at it.

Granted. World implodes before you utter the last word. Thus you never gave the full presentation.

I wish something good could happen, with no bad concicuences

You got it but it had shit from that movie two girls 1 cup and you died.

I wish stoke would join DF