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poem 06/10/2009: before i met you
By sgtswordfish on 11/06/2009
in the mist of the night as silence surrounded me i felt oblidged to write my thoughts. as i looked closely they shaped a message scribbled between lines.
thus was the birth of this poem.. wanted to place it somewhere for art but could not find the right forum. a favor to ask would be for this topic to be relocated if there is such a forum.
the poem is set in a past-present tense in which the writer, male or female is writting to someone or something that has established a motive for change. with that in mind i want you guys to figure out the rest of the theme.
p.s. its free verse. no restrictions applied =D
[FONT=Impact][I]
before i met you i ran thru life
and i felt my reason was to be the best i could be
but then i met you had my life changed
now i can walk thru life knowing.
even though there are no words to describe
you're still my angel sent from above
you brighten my day as i brighten yours
you've changed my life in many ways
although going back to me may seem hard
memories are kept deep inside
maybe someday dreams can come alive
but until then you've changed my life
thus was the birth of this poem.. wanted to place it somewhere for art but could not find the right forum. a favor to ask would be for this topic to be relocated if there is such a forum.
the poem is set in a past-present tense in which the writer, male or female is writting to someone or something that has established a motive for change. with that in mind i want you guys to figure out the rest of the theme.
p.s. its free verse. no restrictions applied =D
[FONT=Impact][I]
before i met you i ran thru life
and i felt my reason was to be the best i could be
but then i met you had my life changed
now i can walk thru life knowing.
even though there are no words to describe
you're still my angel sent from above
you brighten my day as i brighten yours
you've changed my life in many ways
although going back to me may seem hard
memories are kept deep inside
maybe someday dreams can come alive
but until then you've changed my life
By Big Al 002 on 11/06/2009
v nice
By rachellove9 on 11/06/2009
Sounds to me that someone driven by success got a surprise in meeting someone and soften (maybe even by a Godly touch), but somehow it got spoiled. This leaving them with a deep memory of the good and desire to have someone close to them.
By For Sooth on 11/06/2009
wow not bad at all.
p.s. you spelt through wrong
p.s. you spelt through wrong
By Kecooler on 11/06/2009
| QUOTE (rachellove9 @ June 11, 2009 05:13 am) |
| Sounds to me that someone driven by success got a surprise in meeting someone and soften (maybe even by a Godly touch), but somehow it got spoiled. This leaving them with a deep memory of the good and desire to have someone close to them. |
Soso. 6/10.
By sgtswordfish on 11/06/2009
lol. i'm gonna have to revise it. but yeah. when i wrote the poem i rated myself a 4. in all honesty it has no plot nor measure but just an odd occurrance of unexpected events.
also i wanted to add mispelling and sentence breaks on the mid-way to show disruption. but that might make the poem messy..
thanks for the ratings. u rock =D
also i wanted to add mispelling and sentence breaks on the mid-way to show disruption. but that might make the poem messy..
thanks for the ratings. u rock =D
By txtawkin on 12/06/2009
I like it alot.
It makes me think of someone I know. Even though my life isn't what I want it to be right now, it is better because of that person. Just thinking of him makes me smile and "brightens" my day.
Very nice.
and ignore Sooth, he's a bit anal.
It makes me think of someone I know. Even though my life isn't what I want it to be right now, it is better because of that person. Just thinking of him makes me smile and "brightens" my day.
Very nice.
and ignore Sooth, he's a bit anal.
By Sithofwookie on 12/06/2009
Tbh, I hate poetry so I'm not going to rate it.
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