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Help with my English!
By Dallar on 23/10/2009
Will someone help me correct this?
According to expert knowledge about half of the Danish population have an unusual bad condition. We simply move too little despite our knowledge about the importance of staying fit.
That it is bad is probably caused by the fact that many still have the opinion that they have to suffer for health.
The daily bike ride therefore is an excellent opportunity to beat two birds with one stone. Not alone the bike solve some of the modern society's transport issues, it also help us to stay fit. Nor is it so dangerous to ride a bike as many think. Just as long as you look out, avoid taking chances and follow the traffic rules.
By WG_Keanu on 23/10/2009
I would put:
According to expert knowledge, about half of the Danish population have an unusual and detrimental condition. We simply move too little despite our knowledge about the importance of staying fit. This is probably caused by the fact that many still believe that they have to suffer to retain good health.
Therefore, the daily bike ride is an excellent opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. The bike not only solves some of the modern society's transport issues; it also help us to stay fit. It is not as dangerous to ride a bike as many think, as long as you stay alert, avoid taking chances and follow the traffic rules.
According to expert knowledge, about half of the Danish population have an unusual and detrimental condition. We simply move too little despite our knowledge about the importance of staying fit. This is probably caused by the fact that many still believe that they have to suffer to retain good health.
Therefore, the daily bike ride is an excellent opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. The bike not only solves some of the modern society's transport issues; it also help us to stay fit. It is not as dangerous to ride a bike as many think, as long as you stay alert, avoid taking chances and follow the traffic rules.
By For Sooth on 23/10/2009
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I would put: According to expert knowledge, about half of the Danish population have an unusual and detrimental condition. We simply move too little despite our knowledge about the importance of staying fit. This is probably caused by the fact that many still believe that they have to suffer to retain good health. Therefore, the daily bike ride is an excellent opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. The bike not only solves some of the modern society's transport issues; it also help us to stay fit. It is not as dangerous to ride a bike as many think, as long as you stay alert, avoid taking chances and follow the traffic rules. |
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Could not have written it better myself.
By rachellove9 on 23/10/2009
Great edit. I would indent the paragraphs. It gives it a cleaner look and more clear on where they begin.
Rachy
Rachy
By Kyle on 23/10/2009
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
By George on 23/10/2009
/me facepalms
By Fullmetal792 on 24/10/2009
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I would put: According to expert knowledge, about half of the Danish population have an unusual and detrimental condition. We simply move too little despite our knowledge about the importance of staying fit. This is probably caused by the fact that many still believe that they have to suffer to retain good health. Therefore, the daily bike ride is an excellent opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. The bike not only solves some of the modern society's transport issues; it also help us to stay fit. It is not as dangerous to ride a bike as many think, as long as you stay alert, avoid taking chances and follow the traffic rules. |
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Its good, but I'd change a couple of things stylistically. You could leave them there if you want, but I'd probably take them out to shed some words. You'll see what I did after reading it:
According to expert knowledge, about half of the Danish population have an unusual and detrimental condition. We simply move too little despite our knowledge about the importance of staying fit. This is probably caused by many that still believe they have to suffer to retain good health.
Therefore, the daily bike ride is an excellent opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. The bike not only solves some of modern society's transportation issues, but it also help us to stay fit. It is not as dangerous to ride a bike as many think, as long as you stay alert, avoid taking chances, and follow traffic laws.
By Dallar on 31/10/2009
You don't have to continue correcting this text 
I got it back with an A+
I got it back with an A+ Back to Topic Index