Fuck yeah

It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to **** her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.

Flash forward 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her VAGINA, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm ****ing her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says harder. V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home


This is her and me

My story is better.

L.

Yas. I lol'd

This is a 2 minuted waste of my life. Now I will waste 2 minutes of yours. FGT

post count

Cool story bro

o.

Post count .

u r not.

That's nothing compared to my day.

I woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women woke me by sucking my cock, which by the way is 17 and a half inches. I didn't need to shower, because my body self cleanses and my pores emit the manliest cologne possible.

I got in my 2009 Lamborghini Murcielago and another one of my bitches was waiting in the passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without me having penetrated her. She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and drove with my knees. In three seconds, I arrived at the gym, which was fifty miles away. I threw the bitch off me, and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back. When I got out the car, I flexed. My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my shirt off, and six women lined up. We had an orgy, which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of euphoria after I put it in. I came, and three hundred gallons of semen shot out. It landed in Ghana, and ended the drought.

I hovered into the gym, because the ground was too scared of my calf muscles to touch my feet. After benching seven thousand tons, I squatted four million kilograms. I started doing my four hundred laps around California, but I got a phone call. It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels. They orgasmed after hearing my voice. My bitch in the car was getting lonely, so I went back. She sucked me off as I took the three second drive back home. I left her in the car and went inside.

Pic related, it's me and my boys.

As disgusting as both of these stories were I laughed so much.

wat

I honestly take offense to this.

To world,

Love 4chan.

what

Those people in the 2nd story looks like lobster tomatoes

Lol at both stories.

Couch Car, FUCK YEAH.

o