Relationship Problem

This is quite personal.
Please be sensible about it.
It may seem strange I'm asking WG for relationship advice because I don't know most of you.
What I really want is a large variety of opinions.
I want to see my options and then weight them up.
The more the better.

A say again, this is very sensitive information.
I need answers before I go to sleep in an hour.
http://www.wildernessguardians.com/misc/helpme.htm

Offer them the best support you can in listening, then gently prodding them towards each other. Sounds like they are too confused to know what they really want.

Just remember, you want to keep them all as friends, so tread gently.

I am all confused and don't exactly know what to say. I read it but I definitely do not understand any of it.
I got out of it a bunch of names and controversy!

I agree with Jenny, theres nout more painful than having to tread on egg shells till the whole thing is sorted out. Only they can sort this out, don't become the middle man. Be there to give advice and support.

I haven't a fucking clue

I do plan to stay out of it.
But I'm so far in it already it's hard to keep out.

I know it hurts you to see your friends in pain.
Hugs* to you Gene.

I've decided to check back in the morning and make my decision after another night's sleep.
Thanks for the help guys.

First off, you don't want to do anything to radical, and in a situation like this, radical is not what it normally is.

Start off just being normal. Don't go out of your way to avoid Ashley (I think is the one you're disgusted with). However, just don't try hard to do anything with him either. Keep things as casual as possible, but don't do anything out of the ordinary, or at least something that clearly couldn't be ordinary.

As for the girls, the one who's hurt (Amerise I think it is) should be consoled. Don't go into huge details, but just give her company. The best thing you can do is listen. If she wants to talk, all you should do is listen. Don't ask questions and don't interrupt. Just take in all the information, store it and then console. If she asks for help, then give it, but make sure you're answering what she is asking for. To make sure clarify by asking "What exactly is it you want my help with?"

As for Daniel, well that might just be a bad case of rejection. You should actually try to subtly advise him to steer clear of Amerise for a bit, again not in such a way that it's obvious that you don't want the company.

In this kind of a situation you've got to kind of play a very strong defense, but also one that is kind of behind the scene.

Hopefully this is somewhat helpful.

In your shoes, i would do this (though i dont know the background so unsure as to whether it would work).

For Ashley: Disown him, let him know how 'not cool' <-- good word for it his actions were. Let him know you know about him and what he did to Daniel last time he was drunk, and tell him that he needs to change his ways or he's going to lose everyone he knows/cares about. If he refuses, grouply disown him.

For Daniel: Tell him to try his best to stay out of things, but obviously in a perfect world, he should/would get back together with Amarise.

For Amarise: Ideally get her to have a chat with Ashley. Make sure she makes it clear that in their relationship, there can be no occurances such as these. Make sure she takes control, and makes sure that Ashley knows she could walk away at any time.

All i can think of for now Good luck with this, lordy o.O

~Mugger84

idk....

:S

just be nice to both, i don;t really understand though...

Well, I find it very sad that he raped another guy. Drunk or not. I would maybe confront him and make sure he knows that he shouldn't mess anyone around. I also feel sorry for Daneil. Thats a real shame that he has to bare with the thught of that.

Yea I'll make another post.

Well, Lordy you may be deep into it, but right now. Your best bet is to ignore both sides and do nothing for either and stay 100% out of it from here out. They will hate you for a while but I am sure if they really value your friendship they will understand the predicament you are in as well.

I do not mean leave them on the curb if they need help, but just.....be smart on if you are going to do anything with either until they have made up/kill each other.

Wow reading all that really just shocked me. I really think that they just need to have a talk and sort things out. I know its easier said than done but sometimes when you just get right to the point it will makes it clear to them. Its hard when you work with them and see them almost everyday but you just need to pull her aside and have a good talk with her and try to explain things to her so she'll understand. I really would say ignore the situation but if one day they found out you knew about everything already.. thats when it gets worse. Hope all went well for you. Good luck Eugene. <3
take care.

If the girl wants to keep going out with a guy that raped her and treats her like sh!t, let her do it. She deserves it for being dumb.

Its also possible that her ex lied about her being raped by her current boyfriend to make him look bad. Did you ask the girl?

Its down to what/who she chooses , not really a problem here