Back to Topic Index
comments, criticisms and solutions
By Ssricky on 25/06/2008
comments
well as most of us know there was a little "rant" last night in #wg about the whole crucio gene situation which quickly got outta hand but thats not what im complaing about well yes it partly is. what i noticed during this arguement was the word mature being tossed around yet none of you were following your own advice. the hypocracy of last nights arguement has led me to some thinking and this is what i have come to as a conclusion.
criticisms
alot of people in #wg were involved in this little rant and im not going to name any names because you people know who you are and if you dont then you just dont want to admit your wrong which is one of the big problems here in wilderness guardians. frankly i am a blunt person and i could care less how much you flame me or insult me after i say this because if you do that is just proving to me that i am right. the reason we have so many fights in #wg and so many butting of the heads is becuse everyones too egotistical and power crazy that they must always prove that they are right even if they are wrong and this is a problem. other members didnt need to see that kind of bs that was going on and it was asked multiple times to be taken into another chat, other solutions to the situation were given that others agreed were good ideas that were brushed away just so that the drama would continue which is absolute garbage. we talk about friendly community we talk about open community that listens to their members and yet we allow that kind of crap to happen in an open chat. but alas i do sound hypocritical because no one is perfect and its not like i dont act in that manner at times but that is not the point im trying to bring across. the point im trying to make is if this kind of behaviour continues situations like this are just going to get worse and worse till we have more members leave.
SOLUTIONS
Now that the problem has been identified lets work out a solution. ill admit everyone has an ego and everyone enjoys having their ego stroked once in awhile but in some cases theres the clash of egos. the best ways to work around this sort of stuff and cut an arguement off from the source, simple stroking ones ego and telling them that they are right even if they arent will shut them up really quickly because if there is no retaliation the person realizes they won and the arguements will end because if the person continues they will just spam themselves till they are tired, it take 2 people to argue the one yelling and the one yelling back if no ones yelling back the one yelling looks crazy. using your ears(eyes in irc
) instead of your mouth would also be a good start. everyone is quick to start up with a comment or comeback without letting the other person finish what they were saying. honestly people if we dont start listening and stopping arguements not only will i not see myself in the wilderness guardians i feel that others will not as well and no this is not a threat or promise its just the way i feel and thought should get addressed.
well as most of us know there was a little "rant" last night in #wg about the whole crucio gene situation which quickly got outta hand but thats not what im complaing about well yes it partly is. what i noticed during this arguement was the word mature being tossed around yet none of you were following your own advice. the hypocracy of last nights arguement has led me to some thinking and this is what i have come to as a conclusion.
criticisms
alot of people in #wg were involved in this little rant and im not going to name any names because you people know who you are and if you dont then you just dont want to admit your wrong which is one of the big problems here in wilderness guardians. frankly i am a blunt person and i could care less how much you flame me or insult me after i say this because if you do that is just proving to me that i am right. the reason we have so many fights in #wg and so many butting of the heads is becuse everyones too egotistical and power crazy that they must always prove that they are right even if they are wrong and this is a problem. other members didnt need to see that kind of bs that was going on and it was asked multiple times to be taken into another chat, other solutions to the situation were given that others agreed were good ideas that were brushed away just so that the drama would continue which is absolute garbage. we talk about friendly community we talk about open community that listens to their members and yet we allow that kind of crap to happen in an open chat. but alas i do sound hypocritical because no one is perfect and its not like i dont act in that manner at times but that is not the point im trying to bring across. the point im trying to make is if this kind of behaviour continues situations like this are just going to get worse and worse till we have more members leave.
SOLUTIONS
Now that the problem has been identified lets work out a solution. ill admit everyone has an ego and everyone enjoys having their ego stroked once in awhile but in some cases theres the clash of egos. the best ways to work around this sort of stuff and cut an arguement off from the source, simple stroking ones ego and telling them that they are right even if they arent will shut them up really quickly because if there is no retaliation the person realizes they won and the arguements will end because if the person continues they will just spam themselves till they are tired, it take 2 people to argue the one yelling and the one yelling back if no ones yelling back the one yelling looks crazy. using your ears(eyes in irc
) instead of your mouth would also be a good start. everyone is quick to start up with a comment or comeback without letting the other person finish what they were saying. honestly people if we dont start listening and stopping arguements not only will i not see myself in the wilderness guardians i feel that others will not as well and no this is not a threat or promise its just the way i feel and thought should get addressed. By Sithofwookie on 25/06/2008
I wasnt on for the fight last night but i do agree with you ricky. When my sibling annoy me get in fights with me i just agree with them and it ends the fight fast and easy.
By Angus0000 on 25/06/2008
I'll agree with you to some extent, personal conflicts should be kept out of the main channel and in PM. However, the main issue last night was definitely a clan-wide issue. You repeatedly refer to the argument as occurring in an open channel, where that really isn't the case; #wg is pretty exclusive. Although personal shots were made by some participants in the discussion, it really is healthier for the clan that these discussions happen in the open; otherwise, you're liable to end up with nasty rumors.
That being said, you're definitely right about how we conducted ourselves last night, there was way too much hostility and personal pot-shotting, but that's always going to happen. Let's just hope one of these doesn't spring up again any time soon.
That being said, you're definitely right about how we conducted ourselves last night, there was way too much hostility and personal pot-shotting, but that's always going to happen. Let's just hope one of these doesn't spring up again any time soon.
By Tnuac on 25/06/2008
You address a very good point - one that is known by everyone, but often forgotten. Now I can't speak specifics because I wasn't in the chat last night, but I'll comment.
The problem with arguments of this nature is that they are often very complex. Sometimes there's an easy solution (a compromise which neither side has reached, but is easy to reach), but more often that not, problems are deep-seated, and it is extremely difficult, and sometimes potentially risky to 'solve them from the source'.
People's personalities vary greatly. You may think you know them, but you've only scratched the surface at times.
With some personalities, the source of peace is so hard to reach that it isn't worth finding it. Some people don't want to change their personality to suit people over the internet. When there's 2 contrasting ones, its often best for them to ignore each other. This should only happen in rare circumstances, but is sometimes the best option, without attempting to change them directly + creating more drama.
The problem with arguments of this nature is that they are often very complex. Sometimes there's an easy solution (a compromise which neither side has reached, but is easy to reach), but more often that not, problems are deep-seated, and it is extremely difficult, and sometimes potentially risky to 'solve them from the source'.
People's personalities vary greatly. You may think you know them, but you've only scratched the surface at times.
With some personalities, the source of peace is so hard to reach that it isn't worth finding it. Some people don't want to change their personality to suit people over the internet. When there's 2 contrasting ones, its often best for them to ignore each other. This should only happen in rare circumstances, but is sometimes the best option, without attempting to change them directly + creating more drama.
| QUOTE |
| simple stroking ones ego and telling them that they are right even if they arent will shut them up really quickly |
At certain times, yes, giving people satisfaction of a win is a great way to calm it down. However, its not always the best solution. When you've got someone who's often fighting (not bad enough for a ban), and you keep on giving into them, they'll keep on trying to keep dominance. This usually applies to the imature and less stable people. (Its like bringing up a child - if you give them a sweet every time they shout at you for one, it can only get worse). Sometimes you need to challenge them and if they know people aren't behind them and they're making an arse of themselves, they'll co-operate more.
So what I'm saying is, you need to judge every case individually, because it is the personality of the people which definies which is the best course of action to diffuse the situation, and give out appropriate punishment.
By pur3laugh on 25/06/2008
You got a good point there but i got to agree with Tnuac on the quote too.
By Tmal34 on 26/06/2008
Ricky I see your points, but while you are here I would like to propose something to you as well.
There have been 2 occasions now where I have either been present or heard of you saying something to the effect of "Just drop it".
You need to know that it is not healthy to drop discussions as you propose. Only after hashing through disagreements can we truly be the "Family" that we are meant to be and have the community that keeps everyone around. If we just drop disagreements they fester and people end up bitter, forming cliques, and eventually leaving over things that aren't worth leaving over.
However you do have a point about egos and maturity etc.
There have been 2 occasions now where I have either been present or heard of you saying something to the effect of "Just drop it".
You need to know that it is not healthy to drop discussions as you propose. Only after hashing through disagreements can we truly be the "Family" that we are meant to be and have the community that keeps everyone around. If we just drop disagreements they fester and people end up bitter, forming cliques, and eventually leaving over things that aren't worth leaving over.
However you do have a point about egos and maturity etc.
Back to Topic Index